Don't Worry Now by Britt Nicole

Let me say this, to get it off my chest, tonight's song was not random. I chose it. The song has been on repeat for the past hour. I have been exploring it as I think, cry, type, and delete, then think some more:



Today has been very mellow, and emotion for me.

1) This morning I woke up to find something fallen from my bulletin board, where I keep some of the important mementos from my life. It was an obituary of a dear friend that died about a year ago. He was everything I wanted to be, but never could amount to. He loved to laugh, smile, and make your conversations and ideas feel important. I remember working on a seminary assembly project with him, and he was so encouraging with me trying to record an announcement on his computer. No matter how much I messed up, he just chuckled and helped me to relax.. Not to mention he Loved Pixar movies, to which I feel I need to see the new ones just for him. Ivan was brave and full of life and its endearing bliss

2) I wrote a letter to the editor where I bashed someones ideas and experiences. Granted opinions are encouraged, but I think I was too harsh, and not understanding with their own ideas.

3) There is a lot of pain in my lives as well as in the world around me, and the more I experience life, the realization comes that it will be sadder as I experience it alone. I would like to think of a smiling face every where I go, but really because I can fake it, I think the world fakes it. A true hope in my life though is that all will be okay, because it is all temporary.

4) I cried today in public staring out a window, because I realize I don't hold onto any of my past(IE Mission, High School, experiences, good times, and laughter). I am afraid I am closing in on myself, and as I looked outside I saw the cold hardened ice, and am afraid that is what my heart will become.


5) I am beautifully broken, as my friend Ashlee Simpson says... and I like that.

6) I don't want to seem like I am dead, just full of thought. So I will close with these lyrics that keep repeating:

When you feel like you are all alone
Just like your best friend up and gone
Don't worry now
Don't worry now
I've been there yeah, I know how it feels
To wonder if love is even real
Don't worry now
Don't worry now
It's gonna be ok

Someday Soon

KT Tunstall speaks to my heart tonight:




I think it's time to put myself away.
Seek out a little silence.
Close the doors and sit a while.
Walk a little,

And as I put my words away
The flow slows.
See this pen in a stream.
Picking it up is easy.


Follow the shape of it.
Jump in.
Swallow it whole.
Jump in.

Even though I know my around
Possibly there's something that I found,
Holding on for finding solid ground
Someday soon.
Someday soon.


Also important to note that Tomorrow is request day (Artist or Song) for my blog entry.